Tim, if I were your mom I would say, you can't play with Bob anymore!!!

If I get really, reallllly, drunk will I be able to paint like you? Will I be able to play the piano??

My only talent when I am drunk is singing
karaoke.  I mean really, I sound so much
better when I am drunk.

JP

On 10/7/05 10:07:13 AM, Jill Pearson wrote:
>My only talent when I am drunk
>is singing
>karaoke.  I mean really, I
>sound so much
>better when I am drunk.
>
>JP
>

I went to a jam last week with some friends and was surprised at how much better my voice sounded after two Tom Collins (I'm a cheap date and can't handle more than two drinks!). I decided to call it a night after the Loretta Lynn wanna be convinced me to play "You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man." Actually, I called it a night because I was so tempted to join in with her and frightened that I knew all of the words!

Courtney
http://www.courtneyfuller.com

Tim,

Your last two stories are fantastic. Best stuff I've read here in days, maybe weeks.

Got any more gems to share?

Randy

On 10/7/05 11:32:21 AM, Randy Stuart wrote:
>Tim,
>
>Your last two stories are
>fantastic. Best stuff I've
>read here in days, maybe
>weeks.
>
>Got any more gems to share?
>
>Randy
>

Not off the bat but please keep in mind: The first story
was about doing the job even though I was on a little
vacation. The second story was about not painting drunk
because you spend the next two days fixing whatever
genius mind-blowing artworld-changing Psychic
Brotherhood of the Great Artists insight you think you
had.

Mostly they were just two stupid little stories. Glad you all
got a chuckle.

Tim Teebken

http://www.timteebken.com

On 10/7/05 11:32:21 AM, Randy Stuart wrote:
>Got any more gems to share?

Okay I'm not Tim... but this is my favorite rush story.

Years ago, I worked as a one-woman art department in a
small ad agency.  (I loved being free to choose illustration
for all the images in our publications...)

So, one night I was staying late, finishing up a highly
detailed color pencil rendering of a scaly alligator for an
ad which was due in the morning.

I finished, and sprayed fixative on it, so it would survive
handling and drum scanning.

To my horror, I realized that I had just sprayed
SPRAYMOUNT instead of fix.  (For those who don't know,
Spraymount is repositionable tacky adhesive -- stays
sticky for eons.)  Sure, the stuff is clear enough... the
drawing looked fine... but I sure couldn't send it to be
scanned in that state.

I called 3M's 800# on the back of the spray can.  I think
they were on the West Coast, so there were still live
people to talk to (remember, this was years ago) and I was
able to talk to a bonafide adhesive engineer guy.  It was
very cool.

Talc solved my problem.  As tiny amount as possible
spread with a drafting brush over the surface.  The colors
got muted just a bit, so I just asked the scan man to pump
it up a bit.  Turned out great.

I've loved the 3M company ever since.


Rose Lowry
http://www.illustrations.com

On 10/7/05 3:48:19 PM, Rose Lowry wrote:
>On 10/7/05 11:32:21 AM, Randy Stuart
>wrote:
>>Got any more gems to share?
>
>Okay I'm not Tim... but this is my
>favorite rush story.
>
>Years ago, I worked as a one-woman art
>department in a
>small ad agency.  (I loved being free to
>choose illustration
>for all the images in our
>publications...)
>
>So, one night I was staying late,
>finishing up a highly
>detailed color pencil rendering of a
>scaly alligator for an
>ad which was due in the morning.
>
>I finished, and sprayed fixative on it,
>so it would survive
>handling and drum scanning.
>
>To my horror, I realized that I had just
>sprayed
>SPRAYMOUNT instead of fix.  (For those
>who don't know,
>Spraymount is repositionable tacky
>adhesive -- stays
>sticky for eons.)  Sure, the stuff is
>clear enough... the
>drawing looked fine... but I sure
>couldn't send it to be
>scanned in that state.
>
>I called 3M's 800# on the back of the
>spray can.  I think
>they were on the West Coast, so there
>were still live
>people to talk to (remember, this was
>years ago) and I was
>able to talk to a bonafide adhesive
>engineer guy.  It was
>very cool.
>
>Talc solved my problem.  As tiny amount
>as possible
>spread with a drafting brush over the
>surface.  The colors
>got muted just a bit, so I just asked
>the scan man to pump
>it up a bit.  Turned out great.
>
>I've loved the 3M company ever since.

So, one Tuesday I'm working on a piece for AV Video

Magazine. It's due that afternoon. Thankfully, AV Video

Magazine was based in Torrance, about two miles from

where I was living in Harbor City.

Harbor City is not a city. It's an unincorporated part of Los

Angeles and has no Police Department. The police are all

up 20 miles north in Los Angeles fighting crime, fillin' out

reports for spent cartridges and eatin' doughnuts. Add to

that that Harbor City is landlocked and the nearest body

of water is a swamp where that alligator, Reggie, lives

now, and it's just six inches of water surrounded by
macadam, and The Pacific Ocean is five miles away. It

doesn't HAVE a harbor. And it's not a city.

But I lived there. And I had a TYLEX Stain Remover bottle

filled with water that I used for squirting water on my

paintings.

So, I've got this illustration due, I'm living in a city that's

not a city and has no harbor and I'm painting and I grab

the TYLEX bottle.

I squirt it all over my painting and, much to my surprise,

the water does not bead up. No. Water doesn't bead up.

Oil and acrylic paint, gesso, paper, everything starts
bubbling and moving and looking like the worst case of

radiation-induced acne from a George Romero "Night Of

The Living Dead" movie. I swear there were fumes. Little

smoky rivulets of steam as these chemicals all got
together and said to each other, "Let's really screw with

him. If it's Tuesday this must be Belgium and the man

don't like waffles. He likes pancakes so screw 'im."

I'm horrified! My illustration is bubbling up and paper is

peeling and I can't figure out what the heck is going on.

So I grab my TYLEX bottle and squirt more water on the

painting and it starts bubbling more! I look at the TYLEX

bottle and start to scream at it when I notice...

The TYLEX Stain Remover bottle is not covered in
paint.

"Huh? My TYLEX bottle is covered in paint and it's...oh

crap...right over there."

Wrong TYLEX bottle. TYLEX bottle filled with TYLEX Stain

Remover.

I chucked that bottle across the room, grabbed the TYLEX

bottle covered in paint and squirted water on the oozing

mess that was my illustration.

Didn't help. Just brown sludge that looked like mushed

bugs and dead leaves and it smelled bad.

So, I started over.

Three hours later, using the correct TYLEX bottle, I
finished and drove to AV Video Magazine and gave the

15x20 piece to Peter Chaffey, the art director.

...

Philosophically speaking, if my painting was a stain then
TYLEX worked incredibly well and removed it.

...

I still use the same TYLEX bottle I used way back in
'89.

And I never bought a new bottle of TYLEX again. I've
cleaned my counters with COMET ever since.

Tim Teebken

www.timteebken.com">http://www.timteebken.coma>

Okay, my little snafu isn't quite as good (or bad?) as Tim's, but here goes.

Back in my younger, less-experienced days, I had just completed a painting (that I was quite pleased with I might add)and wanted to give it a nice even sheen. I had recently purchased my first bottle of acrylic gloss varnish.

Did I have time to read the instructions? Heavens no. I was too busy creating ART.

So, I drizzle the varnish over my picture and grab a soft flat watercolor brush. And I start brushing. And brushing. And brushing...and brushing.

Little did I comprehend that smooth flowing liquids are pretty much self-leveling. Seriously, Vermeer himself would have been amazed at the absence of brushstrokes in my varnish. It was flawless.

Pleased as punch, I head off to grab a snack and veg-out for a while.

I return to find my wonderful illustration with what looks like a thick layer of dried 2% milk on it, and it's bone dry. I had to redo it.

My first and last lesson in over-brushing.

Randy